Make sure to check for other people’s interpretations, and be explicit about your own.
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Not everyone will draw the same conclusions from a given situation or set of information. Even though we may recognize the positive things, we often give more weight to the negative, allowing one negative comment to overshadow numerous positive ones. Focusing on the negative aspects of a conversation or a situation is a habit common to many people. When we fail to look in-depth for causes or circumstances, we miss important details, and do not allow for the complexity of the situation. Making assumptions and ignoring details or circumstances can lead to misconceptions. We often have a tendency to see what we want to see, forming an impression from a small amount of information or one experience, and assuming that to be highly representative of the whole person or situation. Be careful not to hold on to preconceptions about people or things. If you don’t have any specific questions to ask, you may choose to repeat back to the speaker, in your own words, what you have taken away, in order to allow the speaker to clarify any points (Weger et al., 2010). Use questions to clarify your understanding, as well as to demonstrate interest in what is being said. You need not be drawn into all of their problems or issues, as long as you acknowledge what they are experiencing. Be empathetic to the feelings of the speaker, while maintaining a calm centre within yourself. Imagine how you would feel in their circumstances. Seek an overall understanding of what the speaker is trying to communicate, rather than reacting to the individual words or terms that they use to express themselves. Listen for the essence of the speaker’s thoughts: details, major ideas and their meanings. Remember that “active listeners need to communicate to the speaker that they are involved and giving the person unconditional attention” (Weger, Castle, & Emmett, 2010, p. Notice body language and non-verbal cues to allow for a richer understanding of the speaker’s point. Pay attention to non-verbal messages, without letting yourself be distracted. Consciously focus on quieting your own internal commentary, and step away from your own concerns to think about those of the speaker. Focus on the other person, their thoughts and feelings. The following strategies are intended to promote active listening, or a type of listening with the goal to “develop a clear understanding of the speaker’s concern and also to clearly communicate the listener’s interest in the speaker’s message” (McNaughton, Hamlin, McCarthy, Head-Reeves, & Schreiner, 2008, p. You may wish to communicate that this is not a good time, and reschedule the discussion. Feeling physically unwell, or experiencing pain can make it very difficult to listen effectively. Also, there may be figurative “noise” from the external environment, such as distracting or inappropriate decor in a room, or environmental conditions such as the room being too hot or cold. Other noises may be unavoidable – e.g., construction, other people. Some things can be minimized – e.g., turn down the ringer on your phone, and notifications on your phone or computer while meeting with someone. Audible noise may be extremely distracting.
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Do not be distracted by critical evaluations of the speaker. Try to focus on the relevant information, and the central points that are being conveyed.
DOWNSIDE LIFE TOWER CREAKS BREAKS FULL
Too much stimulation or information can make it very difficult to listen with full attention.
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When we spend our listening time formulating our next response, we cannot be fully attentive to what the speaker is saying.